20 comments on “Pathétique

  1. I don’t generally like rhyme ( it’s difficult to do well without compromising with mediocre choice of words). But this I like, the lilt, the cheek, the dance of it. Somehow a Shakespeare spell!


  2. Wow, this is such a cool rhythm, the way the sentences are broken to drive you forward into the next couplet. Really nice imagery too. Like like like.


  3. This is really wonderful. Everything is true to the mood of pain and disillusionment. The sensory stimulation is potent, and I nearly puked when I got to the mouthful of ash. The rhymes are so carefully chosen, and all of the couplets work. Some of them are particularly good–“sit wings that I ripped / from faeries who slipped / through fencing I built / from splinters of guilt”–Ouch!


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