a train runs through my brain
it rattles the glass of my spine
driving payloads of pain across
tracks of dark neurons that spark
in black cracks of dead bones
it keeps picking up speed racing
farther away from the moment
they split me apart just to lift out
my heart leaving microbes
to seed their invasion and set
down to feed on my parts that
once dreamed of a gentle old age
(originally posted December 2013)
once dreamed of a gentle old age
– powerful last verse. Beautiful poem. Thank you.
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appreciate that very much, vic
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Reblogged this on A poem of mine a day 🙂 and commented:
A very powerful poem I felt the need to reblog-
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thank you, Brendan, for sharing my poem with your readers – and for your kind words
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You have such a metaphoric way of expressing things.
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without metaphor, I don’t think I could write poetry
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“To seed their invasion.” Very powerful.
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much appreciated, Jack
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Painfully good, Paul.
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I know you understand
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Wow.
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much appreciated
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A powerful portrait of pain and the loss of a dream unfortunately so vivid it must be born from experience.
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no choice but to play the cards we are dealt
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Reblogged this on Poesy plus Polemics.
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Very good! Aging should be for the young!: )
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ha ha – how true
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There is little that is truly gentle in this world. It is why we hope so for the next.
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I used to hope – now I believe
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Ah yes and there is the rub! It is faith and belief that make hope sure.
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Both defines the curse of time and, in its own way a poem cursing time. Clever indeed.
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I so appreciate your comment, mike
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Reblogged this on OUR POETRY CORNER.
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thank you for sharing my poem with your readers
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Pain placed on a page. Nicely written Paul
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thank you, my friend
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I never once thought that what sounds like a violent death could be so eloquently written about. Beautiful piece
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I sincerely appreciate that
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I like this Paul. As I’ve gotten older, I too have learned that getting old is not for sissies!
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well said
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Gives a crescendo feel..
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now that you mention it – it does
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Haha:)
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I like this poem of yours . Precise yet deep.
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thanks kindly
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The tempo which I imagine this is read at really drives it home for me. Amazing stuff!
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I sincerely appreciate your supportive words
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It was my pleasure to get to read such a work! I look forward to seeing more.
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That’s an amazing fete of time travel, it being posted at the end of this year!
But in all seriousness, a grand poem.
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hahahahaha – thanks for that – I made the correction
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No worries 🙂
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Powerfully descriptive poem–I can feel the pain and severe lack of “gentleness”…
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pain has been my existence
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I know that, I’m deeply sorry…though not the same kind, mine too.
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I can feel the train vibrating on the tracks–it’s happening in my head/life too.
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oh dear – sorry to hear that
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Oh well, whadayagonnado?
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Wow, Paul. Powerful and uncomfortable and recognizable too!
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thank you most sincerely
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