Who Am I?

 

“Sunday Afternoon” by Fons Heijnsbroek

 

 

I could kill any man
who deserves it I’d
mete out a terminal
justice without many
qualms or kerfuffles
of conscience but
there’d be no joy
in the killing no
blackhearted thrill
in the taking
of life I could never
indulge in a bloodsport
that hunts down some
innocent creature
as trophy machismo
mis-wired and surging
with bastardized ethics

so what does this say
about me this belief
that the ultimate
stroke is the rightful
response when
provoked by straight up
self-defense or the
agonized cries
that depravity must
meet just punishment

what does it add
or subtract from my
semblance that I
believe life from
conception through
birth deserves care
and protection against
the assault of abortion

who am I that I
should embrace such
grave mortal convictions
what gives me such
right to believe
all the things I believe
to take action when I
see such action as fit
to judge life and death
circumstance not of
my own hand’s creation

who am I that I
spent an erudite lifetime
in search of morality
teachably evident
human in scale but
divinely designed

who am I that I
tried to think with great
thinkers and see with
great seers and pray
with great prophets

who am I that I
come to limited hours
of my limited years
feeling sure I have failed
that morality hides
from the world all the
deeper and darker
than ever before

who am I that I
nonetheless know I’ve
been blest for the
fact that I’ve tried

 

 

From my books Bohemian Scents and Legacies (vol. 1)